tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24410429149721836672024-02-08T07:09:02.678-08:00Andy's BlogAndyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07107531451398489296noreply@blogger.comBlogger19125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2441042914972183667.post-2835401608036019192010-07-14T16:04:00.000-07:002010-07-14T16:20:13.308-07:00IT'S NOT OVER YET OFFICIAL VIDEO ONLINE NOW!<span style="color: rgb(51, 204, 255);"><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 255, 51);">Now then, now then. Been a while ain't it. Things have started getting busy with preparing for the release of the first single from the album what with artwork, remixes, new websites and </span></span><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(51, 255, 51);">all the getting-recognised-by-the-general-public-role-playing (just so we're used to it, ready). Still, it's been on Radio 1</span><span style="color: rgb(51, 255, 51);"> and XFM and Kerrang, and my mum's Hi-Fi she got off my dad for Christmas in 1994 so it's going alright. Krish's mum's already given it 5 stars, but she likes The Hoosiers and the sound of foxes mating, so...</span><br /><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 255, 51);">Anyway, I posted the making-of thing a while back, so here's the actual video. I prefer the making-of personally. The real thing's got a rubbish sense of humour. Enjoy:</span><br /><br /><object height="385" width="640"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/4kdvvg-gppY&hl=en_US&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/4kdvvg-gppY&hl=en_US&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" height="385" width="640"></embed></object>Andyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07107531451398489296noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2441042914972183667.post-88733107725156217332010-05-30T10:11:00.000-07:002010-05-31T04:24:50.461-07:00HOLLAND TOUR<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:documentproperties> <o:template>Normal.dotm</o:Template> <o:revision>0</o:Revision> <o:totaltime>0</o:TotalTime> <o:pages>1</o:Pages> <o:words>1181</o:Words> <o:characters>6736</o:Characters> <o:company>Andy Craven-Griffiths</o:Company> <o:lines>56</o:Lines> <o:paragraphs>13</o:Paragraphs> <o:characterswithspaces>8272</o:CharactersWithSpaces> <o:version>12.0</o:Version> </o:DocumentProperties> <o:officedocumentsettings> <o:allowpng/> </o:OfficeDocumentSettings> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:trackmoves>false</w:TrackMoves> <w:trackformatting/> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:drawinggridhorizontalspacing>18 pt</w:DrawingGridHorizontalSpacing> <w:drawinggridverticalspacing>18 pt</w:DrawingGridVerticalSpacing> <w:displayhorizontaldrawinggridevery>0</w:DisplayHorizontalDrawingGridEvery> <w:displayverticaldrawinggridevery>0</w:DisplayVerticalDrawingGridEvery> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> <w:dontautofitconstrainedtables/> <w:dontvertalignintxbx/> </w:Compatibility> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="276"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--> <style> <!-- /* Font Definitions */ @font-face {font-family:Times; panose-1:2 0 5 0 0 0 0 0 0 0; mso-font-charset:0; mso-generic-font-family:auto; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:3 0 0 0 1 0;} @font-face {font-family:Cambria; panose-1:2 4 5 3 5 4 6 3 2 4; mso-font-charset:0; mso-generic-font-family:auto; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:3 0 0 0 1 0;} /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin-top:0cm; margin-right:0cm; margin-bottom:10.0pt; margin-left:0cm; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria; mso-fareast-font-family:Cambria; mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:EN-US;} h3 {mso-style-link:"Heading 3 Char"; margin:0cm; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; mso-outline-level:3; font-size:13.5pt; mso-bidi-font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family:Times; mso-hansi-font-family:Times;} span.Heading3Char {mso-style-name:"Heading 3 Char"; mso-style-locked:yes; mso-style-link:"Heading 3"; mso-ansi-font-size:13.5pt; font-family:Times; mso-ascii-font-family:Times; mso-hansi-font-family:Times; mso-ansi-language:EN-GB; font-weight:bold; mso-bidi-font-weight:normal;} span.uistorymessage {mso-style-name:uistory_message;} @page Section1 {size:612.0pt 792.0pt; margin:72.0pt 90.0pt 72.0pt 90.0pt; mso-header-margin:36.0pt; mso-footer-margin:36.0pt; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style> <!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0cm; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi; mso-ansi-language:EN-US;} </style> <![endif]--> <!--StartFragment--> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(255, 153, 0);"><span style="color: rgb(51, 255, 51);"><span style="color: rgb(255, 153, 0);">Last week we were in Holland. It went a bit like this:</span></span></span><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="color: rgb(255, 255, 51);" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;"><b style=""><span style="">Wednesday 19<sup>th</sup> May<o:p></o:p></span></b></span></p> <p style="color: rgb(255, 255, 51);" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">The ferry over’s called the Pride of Hull (insert Hull-is-shit joke). We’re pissed before we leave the port and we go to dinner just as we start moving and it feels like we’re on a shake-the-fat-off-with-a-vibrating-rubber-band machine, only powered by AAAs. We drag along the muddy riverbed and I reckon the vibrating must help compact food in your stomach. Lucky, cause it’s a buffet, which Slurpy sees as a challenge to make money by eating so much food the raw ingredients would cost more than the price of the meal. He eats 4 plates piled high, much in the manner of Obelix at the feast at the end of Asterix books, but without the blue and white look-at-me-I’m-a-Frenchman leggings. <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 51);">We’re like snakes stuffed with hippos after dinner and stagnate in the bar watching Eric Bristow and some other ex darts world champion chuck a couple of arrows with strangers. I imagine their fee is a bundle of dirty fivers each and a free bar, but they have to pack down their own board, stand and lighting pretty quick to make way for resident guitar-vocalist, Robbie! 35 year old Robbie is a bag of dreams beaten with the claw end of a reality hammer and thrown in a bin the striking binmen will never empty, even after the strike is over. He opens with Mustang Sally, follows with Summer of ’69, and we leave the 8 other people in the bar to their lethargic clapping and go to bed.</span><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p style="color: rgb(255, 153, 0);" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;"><b style=""><span style="">Thursday 20<sup>th</sup> May<span style=""> </span>Luxor Live, Arnhem<o:p></o:p></span></b></span></p> <p style="color: rgb(255, 153, 0);" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">In Rotterdam we find a coffee shop and 10 minutes later we’re smiling inanely at the table. On our way to Arnhem we stop by the side of a road and set up to have a jam. People stop to watch, including a couple of council workers, who say there’s no problem, they just want to listen. A small boy and his mum cycle past and she says he’s just been talking about wanting to learn drums. Lee offers the boy a go and walks towards him gesturing but the boy doesn’t speak English, becomes terrified his mum is selling him and jumps back on his bike.</span></p><p style="color: rgb(51, 255, 51);" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;"><a href="http://s493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/Holland%20Blog/?action=view&current=Andyandslurps.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/Holland%20Blog/Andyandslurps.jpg" alt="Photobucket" border="0" /></a><a href="http://s493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/Holland%20Blog/?action=view&current=roadsidejam2.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/Holland%20Blog/roadsidejam2.jpg" alt="Photobucket" border="0" /></a><br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p style="color: rgb(51, 255, 51);" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="color: rgb(255, 153, 0);">At Luxor Live the crew cook a beautiful meal and we all eat together, unlike in England where you might get thrown a dodgy pork pie to fight over. The Dutch are so relaxed they leave long silences in conversation as though they can’t be bothered to say anything. If they were English these silences would be awkward, but really they’re just allowing time to pass and things to exist. When you ask, “Do you want us to sound check before eating or after?” they reply, “Errr</span><span style="color: rgb(255, 153, 0);"> </span><span style="color: rgb(255, 153, 0);">you know</span><span style="color: rgb(255, 153, 0);"> </span><span style="color: rgb(255, 153, 0);">you sound check before</span><span style="color: rgb(255, 153, 0);"> </span><span style="color: rgb(255, 153, 0);">you sound check after</span><span style="color: rgb(255, 153, 0);"> </span><span style="color: rgb(255, 153, 0);">it’s ok.”</span><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="color: rgb(255, 153, 0);">On the way to the hotel back in Den Haag, Krish is desperate to urinate. There’s nowhere to pull over on the motorway and Krish is almost ready to open the van door and risk his life for some relief from the stretched waterbomb of his bladder. When we finally pull over Krish sprints from the van and bores a hole in the a tree he unleashes on, like a timelapse film of acid rain damage.</span><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p style="color: rgb(255, 255, 51);" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;"><b style=""><span style="">Friday 21<sup>st</sup> May<span style=""> </span>Bazart, Den Haag<o:p></o:p></span></b></span></p> <p style="color: rgb(51, 255, 255);" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 51);">In Den Haag we spend the day at the beach. Lee drinks so much coffee that cardiac exercise becomes superfluous and when we leave, the barman gives the kind of ironman handshake that lets you know, if he had a fight with Jaws, he’d choke him to death. At the gym he neglects his quadriceps, biceps and triceps, in favour of a brutal chokerceps regime.</span><br /></span></p><p style="color: rgb(51, 255, 255);" class="MsoNormal"><a href="http://s493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/Holland%20Blog/?action=view&current=DenHaagBeach4.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/Holland%20Blog/DenHaagBeach4.jpg" alt="Photobucket" border="0" /></a><a href="http://s493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/Holland%20Blog/?action=view&current=DenHaagbeach4.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/Holland%20Blog/DenHaagbeach4.jpg" alt="Photobucket" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p style="color: rgb(255, 255, 51);" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">After we play, the woman sat with the club manager tells us she’s not drinking tonight as she got really drunk last week and was badly behaved. It’s penitence. She says it’s worth it just for how much she’ll enjoy it next time, like when she doesn’t have sex for a couple of weeks and then the next time is amazing. There’s a moment’s awkward silence as she just looks at us and Lee replies, “What’s sex?” Another silence as she tries to figure out the best way to explain sex to an English man who’s managed to avoid it for so long.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p style="color: rgb(255, 255, 51);" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">In a bar called Supermarkt Krish walks straight to the stage at the back, climbs the steps and calmly surveys his surroundings. He smiles and drops into his crab dance on beat. He chucks a few hip thrusts out and pretty soon some guy’s battling him before admitting defeat and trying to imitate. Back in the room Slurps notices the only decoration in the room, a small sculpture of a woman, has the head of Lovejoy and the body of Pat Butcher.</span></p><p style="color: rgb(51, 255, 255);" class="MsoNormal"><a href="http://s493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/Holland%20Blog/?action=view&current=Slurpycockhead.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/Holland%20Blog/Slurpycockhead.jpg" alt="Photobucket" border="0" /></a><a href="http://s493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/Holland%20Blog/?action=view&current=Lovejoy_patbutcher.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/Holland%20Blog/Lovejoy_patbutcher.jpg" alt="Photobucket" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 51);">Most toilets in Holland have the hole right at the front of the bowl and a display shelf covering about 70% at the back half, so that after defecating you can admire your work. Not a great idea when you’re living on booze and caffeine and squeezing out thin, dark, wet, cat shits, but maybe the display shelf’s there so Dutch people can see what sort of health they’re in. Dutch people are probably too used to this faecal display mechanism to find these musings even remotely interesting but that’s cultural relativism for you init. </span><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p style="color: rgb(255, 153, 0);" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;"><b style=""><span style="">Saturday 22<sup>nd</sup> May<span style=""> </span><span style=""> </span>Vera, Groningen<o:p></o:p></span></b></span></p> <p style="color: rgb(255, 153, 0);" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">In the morning Lee goes out to get some breakfast and gets mugged by a St Bernard at the door. He turns round just as Beethover leans over him, stood at full height on his back legs, and pins him against the wall, before tearing away at the bread and cheese and paté Lee has bought. A man in the street tries to help and it all ends up in laughter and someone probably falls in love and then cries their flippin’ eyes out.</span></p><p style="color: rgb(51, 255, 51);" class="MsoNormal"><a href="http://s493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/Holland%20Blog/?action=view&current=bridgelifted.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/Holland%20Blog/bridgelifted.jpg" alt="Photobucket" border="0" /></a><a href="http://s493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/Holland%20Blog/?action=view&current=windmills.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/Holland%20Blog/windmills.jpg" alt="Photobucket" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p style="color: rgb(51, 255, 51);" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="color: rgb(255, 153, 0);">We drive up to Groningen, stopping to sunbathe by a lake. </span><span style="color: rgb(255, 153, 0);"> </span><span style="color: rgb(255, 153, 0);">Vera is the coolest venue we’ve played at. Everyone in the world has played there from Nirvana to U2 to the The Flaming Lips and on and on and on. We smash the gig and the debauchery can begin. We drink with Sico, who works at the venue, and his girlfriend. At one place Me and Krish get in the middle of a developing mosh pit and slow dance them all to calmness. The Dutch are so polite and accommodating that it only takes a minute before we’ve stopped the moshing. </span><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="color: rgb(51, 255, 51);"><span style="color: rgb(255, 153, 0);">Back at Vera, Krish is forehead to forehead with a Viking stranger, each man’s hands holding the back of the other’s head and pulling towards their own in an effort to collapse the other’s skull. The first man to give up loses and after about a minute both men are gritting their teeth and grunting and it’s no longer a fun game. It’s David vs. Goliath, good vs. evil, England v. Holland. They draw, both agreeing to stop, and Krish is left with a graze and a bruised forehead. Meanwhile, Lee plays Sico at handslapping. They take turns slapping each others’ hand, whoever gives up first loses. Sico wins, and his girlfriend asks to play me. I don’t want to, and she accuses me of being sexist. In the interest of feminism I do my best to break her hand and she gives in, and I avenge Lee’s loss in the most manly of fashions. Slurpy falls down some stairs, we eat some pizza, we sleep.</span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="color: rgb(51, 255, 51);"><a href="http://s493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/Holland%20Blog/?action=view&current=krishscab2.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/Holland%20Blog/krishscab2.jpg" alt="Photobucket" border="0" /></a><a href="http://s493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/Holland%20Blog/?action=view&current=MrBump.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/Holland%20Blog/MrBump.jpg" alt="Photobucket" border="0" /></a><br /></span></span></p> <p style="color: rgb(255, 255, 51);" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;"><b style=""><span style="">Sunday 23<sup>rd</sup> May<span style=""> </span><span style=""> </span>Waerdse Tempel, Heerhugowaard<o:p></o:p></span></b></span></p> <h3 style="margin: 0.1pt 0cm; color: rgb(51, 255, 255);"><span style="font-weight: normal;font-family:Cambria;font-size:100%;" ><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 51);">The hotel rooms in Heerhugowaard are themed and massively erotic. Krish and Lee take ‘Marakesh’ whilst Slurps and me enjoy ‘Royalty’ and its silk sheets. Normally my keys and money never leave my pockets, but somehow I’ve managed to leave both, and my ipod, and my passport, in Groningen. I’m glad the stage is massive at tonight’s gig so I don’t have to stand in the others’ punching zones. After the gig, we can’t handle more drink and so just smoke. After a while Krish is saying, “I don’t even know how to stand any more. I’m trying things out but it seems like it’s all been done before, it’s all just clichés,” and we go bed.</span><o:p></o:p></span></h3> <p style="color: rgb(51, 255, 255);" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="color: rgb(255, 153, 0);" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;"><b style=""><span style="">Monday 24<sup>th</sup> May<o:p></o:p></span></b></span></p> <h3 style="margin: 0.1pt 0cm; color: rgb(255, 153, 102);"><span style="font-weight: normal;font-family:Cambria;font-size:100%;" ><span style="color: rgb(51, 255, 51);"><span style="color: rgb(255, 153, 0);">The breakfast room in the hotel is decked out like a strip club. By this morning, our tour diet of coffee, weed, tequila, overeating, orange juice, sunburn and tinnitus is taking its toll. All four of us draw gum blood when we brush our teeth. After a 4-hour detour to collect my valuables we get to Rotterdam. Since being in Holland we've seen an icecream van with 'slag room' written on it, a road sign for somewhere called 'ringsneek' and other similar signs that make immature young men giggle. In Rotterdam we add a pub called 'Bender's' and a window painted with the words 'Van Nelle Shag'.</span><br /></span></span></h3><h3 style="margin: 0.1pt 0cm; color: rgb(255, 153, 0);"><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span></h3><h3 style="margin: 0.1pt 0cm; color: rgb(255, 153, 0);"><span style="font-weight: normal;font-family:Cambria;font-size:100%;" ><span style="color: rgb(51, 255, 51);"><span style="color: rgb(255, 153, 0);">We leave a coffee shop when Lee realises there’s some guy smoking smack, and 20 yards from the coffee shop another guy punches through a bank window then walks off with blood pouring from his hand and leaving a squiggly trail behind. We have a couple of coffees, admire a statue of Santa with what’s either a massive and strangely shaped lolly, or a huge butt plug. We head home.</span></span></span></h3><br /><a href="http://s493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/Holland%20Blog/?action=view&current=santabuttplugkrish.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/Holland%20Blog/santabuttplugkrish.jpg" alt="Photobucket" border="0" /></a><a href="http://s493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/Holland%20Blog/?action=view&current=dutchfastfood.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/Holland%20Blog/dutchfastfood.jpg" alt="Photobucket" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><!--EndFragment-->Andyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07107531451398489296noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2441042914972183667.post-4790920339429730922010-03-30T16:01:00.000-07:002010-04-25T05:30:38.845-07:00MIDDLEMAN AT SOUTH BY SOUTH WEST FESTIVAL<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:documentproperties> <o:template>Normal.dotm</o:Template> <o:revision>0</o:Revision> <o:totaltime>0</o:TotalTime> <o:pages>1</o:Pages> <o:words>1681</o:Words> <o:characters>9587</o:Characters> <o:company>Andy Craven-Griffiths</o:Company> <o:lines>79</o:Lines> <o:paragraphs>19</o:Paragraphs> <o:characterswithspaces>11773</o:CharactersWithSpaces> <o:version>12.0</o:Version> </o:DocumentProperties> <o:officedocumentsettings> <o:allowpng/> </o:OfficeDocumentSettings> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:trackmoves>false</w:TrackMoves> <w:trackformatting/> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:drawinggridhorizontalspacing>18 pt</w:DrawingGridHorizontalSpacing> <w:drawinggridverticalspacing>18 pt</w:DrawingGridVerticalSpacing> <w:displayhorizontaldrawinggridevery>0</w:DisplayHorizontalDrawingGridEvery> <w:displayverticaldrawinggridevery>0</w:DisplayVerticalDrawingGridEvery> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> <w:dontautofitconstrainedtables/> <w:dontvertalignintxbx/> </w:Compatibility> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="276"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--> <style> <!-- /* Font Definitions */ @font-face {font-family:Cambria; panose-1:2 4 5 3 5 4 6 3 2 4; mso-font-charset:0; mso-generic-font-family:auto; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:3 0 0 0 1 0;} /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin-top:0cm; margin-right:0cm; margin-bottom:10.0pt; margin-left:0cm; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria; mso-fareast-font-family:Cambria; mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:EN-US;} @page Section1 {size:612.0pt 792.0pt; margin:72.0pt 90.0pt 72.0pt 90.0pt; mso-header-margin:36.0pt; mso-footer-margin:36.0pt; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style> <!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0cm; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi; mso-ansi-language:EN-US;} </style> <![endif]--> <!--StartFragment--> <p class="MsoNormal"><b style=""><span style=""><a href="http://s493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/SXSW%20Blog/?action=view&current=GroupBlackandWhite.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/SXSW%20Blog/GroupBlackandWhite.jpg" alt="Photobucket" border="0" /></a><br /></span></b></p><p style="color: rgb(153, 255, 255);" class="MsoNormal"><b style=""><span style=""><span style="font-size:130%;">Monday 15th March 2010</span><o:p></o:p></span></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""><span style="color: rgb(153, 255, 255);">After the hoop-jumping, back-bending, how-high palaver of securing US Visas, we leave Leeds towards London, ready for our flight the next morning, and a red van starts changing lanes without looking. It swerves just before smashing into us as Lee holds the horn down. Our hearts are now banging out about 180bpm and we have to go straight back to Krish’s cause I’ve left my passport and money at his house. </span><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p style="color: rgb(153, 255, 153);" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:130%;"><b style=""><span style="">Tuesday 16<sup>th</sup> March 2010</span></b></span><span style=""> <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p style="color: rgb(153, 255, 153);" class="MsoNormal"><span style="">At 4:30am We leave Lee’s sister’s for Heathrow, drive past long term parking 3 times and then hit the car we’re parking behind. Slurpy’s bass drum case is stuffed to the brim with his cymbals, click track, snare, and all of our clothes and it weighs about two hernias. He carries it like an empty handbag.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p style="color: rgb(153, 255, 153);" class="MsoNormal"><span style="">The plane is packed with bands and music industry going to South By South West. Huw Stephens is asleep just behind me to the left and I consider seeing how much stuff I can pile on him and take photos before he wakes up, like Buckaroo for grown ups, but I decide there are too many people awake and aware who would think I run a weird fetish website based on innocent but inconvenient real life recreations of childhood boardgames.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><a href="http://s493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/SXSW%20Blog/?action=view&current=PlaneLeeandSlurps.jpg" target="_blank"></a><a href="http://s493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/SXSW%20Blog/?action=view&current=Planeonboard.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/SXSW%20Blog/Planeonboard.jpg" alt="Photobucket" border="0" /></a><a href="http://s493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/SXSW%20Blog/?action=view&current=PlaneLeeandSlurps.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/SXSW%20Blog/PlaneLeeandSlurps.jpg" alt="Photobucket" border="0" /></a></span><br /><span style=""><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p style="color: rgb(153, 255, 153);" class="MsoNormal"><span style="">We land, obviously, to Susan Boyle singing Wild Horses, and get our connecting flight from Dallas to Austin. The captain seems to have a rare form of turrets based partly on his own hunger and partly on his desire to be a Roy Lichtenstein painting. At the end of the first announcement he pauses briefly, then says ‘toast!’ and stops. At the end of the next announcement, regarding takeoff, he pauses at the end, then goes ‘Zooooom!’ When we hit the runway in Austin we don’t get the ‘Bosh!’ I’m hoping for. I leave my passport in the pocket of the chair in front and cause a bit of a security panic when I try to go back onto the plane.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p style="color: rgb(153, 255, 153);" class="MsoNormal"><span style="">We go to the wrong Doubletree Hotel, have to call another cabbie, who has a big bag of weed in the front and doesn’t seem to want to charge us, and we get to the right place. We head downtown for something to eat and find a Chinese restaurant with massive horse sculptures in it and a friendly waiter. He asks what we’re all having and then whether we want white or brown rice. We all want white. He points at Lee and says ‘white’, then at Slurps, ‘white’, then at me and says ‘white’, and finally at Krish and says ‘brown’. It’s hard not to shout ‘racist’ at him, but he might miss the irony, and it’s our first night.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""><span style="color: rgb(153, 255, 153);">Krish smokes the night away after making us swear we wouldn’t let him, but me and Lee can’t be bothered getting into a fight with him and having to smash his beautiful little face in, so we just remind him he’s a disappointment to everyone he knows.</span><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p style="color: rgb(153, 255, 255);" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:130%;"><b style=""><span style="">Wednesday 17<sup>th</sup> March 2010</span></b></span></p><p style="color: rgb(153, 255, 255);" class="MsoNormal"><a href="http://s493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/SXSW%20Blog/?action=view&current=breakfastmontage.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/SXSW%20Blog/breakfastmontage.jpg" alt="Photobucket" border="0" /></a><br /><span style=""><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p style="color: rgb(153, 255, 255);" class="MsoNormal"><span style="">We wake up and get breakfast in bed. We’re not used to American portions so, after the equivalent of an English breakfast, each bite of the super-absorbent, half-inch thick pancakes is like trying to choke down a dirty, damp flannel. Lee does a phone interview for the Yorkshire Evening Post and we head downtown to check out the venue and eat burgers. The traffic’s so bad we have to head back to the hotel to get our gear straight away. We watch The Temper Trap film an acoustic session by the hotel pool till the next shuttle bus comes.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""><span style="color: rgb(153, 255, 255);">We drop our gear at the venue and hand out some flyers. Some American girls immediately become our street team in order to hang around with us and look at our beautiful faces and listen to our magical accents until the gig starts. Nearly all American girls here are called Lisa, Laura, Laurie, Lauren or Lindsey.</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><a href="http://s493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/SXSW%20Blog/?action=view&current=Texas3.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/SXSW%20Blog/Texas3.jpg" alt="Photobucket" border="0" /></a><a href="http://s493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/SXSW%20Blog/?action=view&current=Texas2.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/SXSW%20Blog/Texas2.jpg" alt="Photobucket" border="0" /></a></span><br /><span style=""><b style=""> <o:p></o:p></b></span></p> <p style="color: rgb(153, 255, 153);" class="MsoNormal"><b style=""><span style=""><span style="font-size:130%;">Thursday 18<sup>th</sup> March 2010</span><o:p></o:p></span></b></p> <p style="color: rgb(153, 255, 153);" class="MsoNormal"><span style="">We arrive at The British Music Embassy at 10am as requested and discover we won’t be needed for an hour and a half. It’s just like in England, but not nearly as bad as having to get to the venue last night at 6pm and not being needed for five and a half hours. We get smoothies from a smoothie bar and you can choose one ‘power shot’ to go in it. There’s one for energy, one for immunity and so on. Lee orders invisibility and soon feels himself disappearing from the crotch down. I want the ability to pause time but they don’t have that.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""><span style="color: rgb(153, 255, 153);">After sound check we flyer 6</span><sup style="color: rgb(153, 255, 153);">th</sup><span style="color: rgb(153, 255, 153);"> Street and I get distracted by some girls hoola-hooping in bikinis in order to get customers into the bar they work at, which is called Bikinis. I spend a while telling them they’re shit at hoola-hoop and asking why they haven’t been trained properly and I know they really appreciate my constructive criticism, especially when I tell them the drunk bearded guy asking for a go is sexier than all of them. The sound at The British Music Embassy is amazing and immediately after the gig we’re ploughing through the free drinks.</span><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""><a href="http://s493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/SXSW%20Blog/?action=view&current=StreetWalk.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/SXSW%20Blog/StreetWalk.jpg" alt="Photobucket" border="0" /></a><a href="http://s493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/SXSW%20Blog/?action=view&current=Britishmusicembassyonstagecopy.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/SXSW%20Blog/Britishmusicembassyonstagecopy.jpg" alt="Photobucket" border="0" /></a><a href="http://s493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/SXSW%20Blog/?action=view&current=JadeMingus.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/SXSW%20Blog/JadeMingus.jpg" alt="Photobucket" border="0" /></a></span></p><p style="color: rgb(153, 255, 153);" class="MsoNormal"><span style="">Local news reporter Jade Mingus interviews me just before I’m no longer capable and by the time Slow Club are finished we’re Oliver Stone. By the time The Crookes have played we’re Nicolas Cage in Leaving Las Vegas and by the time The Grammatics come on stage we’re so flammable there’s a danger I’ll spontaneously combust every time my throat rasps as I shout at Owen that he’s fucking well cool. <o:p></o:p>Our gear has been removed from the venue and piled up outside. I head off to see Mike Snow and the others head back to the hotel. <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""><span style="color: rgb(153, 255, 153);">It’s happy hour at the hotel bar and Krish, Lee and Slurps ask the bar maid to deliver burgers and more margaritas to the Jacuzzi. Three security guards come to watch/supervise as Lee starts singing at the top of his voice into the tubes in the Jacuzzi. These tubes come out in the pool and amplify his voice around the hotel. He shouts ‘Jesus’ and ‘Vivaldi’ alternately until it’s time to break into the conference room and steal cookies and coke to go with the burgers and margaritas. Slurpy meets some English guys in the bar who’ve never played at South By South West and tells them they’ll be fine for their gig, that the crowd are nice and not to worry or be nervous. He asks what their band is called. It’s called Hole.</span><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><object height="385" width="480"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/KbqdIcSl7wM&hl=en_US&fs=1&"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/KbqdIcSl7wM&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" height="385" width="480"></embed></object><br /><span style=""><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""><span style="color: rgb(153, 255, 153);">After failing to get some porn on the TV, Lee passes out and Krish and Slurpy go back downtown. Slurpy tries to give some money to a tramp and gets rejected by the offended homeless man. Krish rings Lee to come back out saying “I would love you to be here man. We’re on 18</span><sup style="color: rgb(153, 255, 153);">th</sup><span style="color: rgb(153, 255, 153);"> street. Oh god, we’ve got to get some food, we’re in hell on earth.” Krish puts his phone back in his pocket without hanging up and Lee can hear him telling Slurpy, “I’m serious man, I’m gonna be sick over this bridge.” Slurpy asks where Lee is, Krish remembers, recovers his phone and changes plan, “Things are not good man, stay there, we’re coming home.”</span><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p style="color: rgb(153, 255, 255);" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:130%;"><b style=""><span style="">Friday 19<sup>th</sup> March 2010</span></b></span><span style=""><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p style="color: rgb(153, 255, 255);" class="MsoNormal"><span style="">We wake up feeling like we’ve been in a Sahara-Desert-eating contest and we’re all losers. At breakfast the waiter says he saw us on the news last night. It’s a glorious sunny day of interviews at the Convention Centre, along with free massage and drinks in the artists’ lounge. Everyone thinks we’re younger than we are due to our exuberant outlook, our buoyant laughter and our underdeveloped physical appearance.<span style=""> </span><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p style="color: rgb(153, 255, 255);" class="MsoNormal"><span style="">We bounce between Buffalo Billiard Lounge and Soho on 6<sup>th</sup> Street and drink our hands surgeon-steady again before gradually working our way back to old-lady-trying-to-slowly-shake-hands-in-an-earthquake. Going back to Buffalo Billiard Lounge the bouncer asks Lee if he’s having a good time. Lee says yeah, he’s had a couple of drinks; he’s a little bit drunk. A guy from inside the venue runs out and pushes Lee over, puts his knee in his chest and says he’s putting the whole bar at risk. Apparently, in America, you have to be careful what you say about drink to people making their living selling you drink. You can buy their drink, just don’t let it take any chemical effect; tipsiness is as dangerous as atheism here.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p style="color: rgb(153, 255, 255);" class="MsoNormal"><span style="">What happens next is a blur but it involves putting some Radio 1 employees through their paces, doing forward rolls in the middle of the road, teaching a group of girls the crab dance and explaining how massive it is in England, Krish and Slurps taking a spill in the pizza queue and people treading over them, Krish dancing samba in the street like he’s an instructor in Pineapple Dance Studio, going to Iron Cactus and ordering death drinks and Krish thinking he can’t go on and having to drink some water.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><object height="344" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/rT0Fw1n3jB8&hl=en&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/rT0Fw1n3jB8&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" height="344" width="425"></embed></object><br /><span style=""><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""><span style="color: rgb(153, 255, 255);">Getting into the shuttle bus home Lee clips his nipple on the door and the driver asks if he needs a medic and launches into a story about nipples, “I know a guy who got his nipple bitten off by a beaver, man.” He says him and his mate were in a car and hit a beaver. His mate picked the lifeless beaver up and said, “Look man there’s not even any blood.” On cue the beaver came round and took his mate’s whole nipple off through his clothes. The driver goes on to speak about racoons, always referring to them as ‘coons’. Maybe he’s mates with the Chinese restaurant waiter. He says that when you harvest rice you do it in a spiral from the outside in, so all the animals hide in the middle. They used to trap the racoons and use them for their fur, and this guy from out of town, this city guy he knew, was having a go at catching a racoon. It jumped up and bit the city guy’s hand and fucked it up. He was trying to shake it off and when it let go it starting chewing his balls, it just latched on. The driver and his other friend laughed so hard they couldn’t help the city guy. Almost incapacitated by laughter, but scared city guy was going to bleed to death, the driver, “had to kick the coon off the guy’s dick.” He just, “kicked the coon right off his crotch!”</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><a href="http://s493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/SXSW%20Blog/?action=view&current=Drunk1.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/SXSW%20Blog/Drunk1.jpg" alt="Photobucket" border="0" /></a><a href="http://s493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/SXSW%20Blog/?action=view&current=Drunk2.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/SXSW%20Blog/Drunk2.jpg" alt="Photobucket" border="0" /></a><br /><span style=""><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p style="color: rgb(153, 255, 153);" class="MsoNormal"><b style=""><span style=""><span style="font-size:130%;">Saturday 20<sup>th</sup> March 2010</span><o:p></o:p></span></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""><span style="color: rgb(153, 255, 153);">Slurpy is going to try to eat a 4lb burger at Bikinis later in order to try to win a T shirt, and to prove that he can, but it doesn’t stop him having the now quotidian meateggsflannel breakfast. Our manager is going to join him in the challenge. We meet at 4pm at Bikinis and the burgers are the size of a dinner plate and about 3 inches thick including the bun. Slurps is half way through before he starts struggling and Tony decides to dip his bread in his Dr Pepper, screw it up into a ball and eat it like an apple. Slurps struggles not to vomit. After an hour, Tony has had to stop, and Slurpy is working away at the crisps and salad with a pallid, sweaty face and an occasional suppressed gip. He clearly wants to stop, but to paraphrase Macbeth, he has now stepped so deep in meat that to turn back were as tedious as go o’er.</span><span style=""><br /></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""><span style=""><a href="http://s493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/SXSW%20Blog/?action=view&current=BurgerSlideshow2.jpg" target="_blank"></a><a href="http://s493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/SXSW%20Blog/?action=view&current=BurgerSlideshow2.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/SXSW%20Blog/BurgerSlideshow2.jpg" alt="Photobucket" border="0" /></a><br /></span></span></p><p style="color: rgb(153, 255, 153);" class="MsoNormal"><span style="">He comes out victorious and wins a T-shirt with the slogan ‘Not tonight ladies. I’m just here for the burgers.’</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><a href="http://s493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/SXSW%20Blog/?action=view&current=Burgervictoryshot.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/SXSW%20Blog/Burgervictoryshot.jpg" alt="Photobucket" border="0" /></a><br /><span style=""><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p style="color: rgb(153, 255, 255);" class="MsoNormal"><b style=""><span style=""><span style="font-size:130%;">Sunday 21<sup>st</sup> March 2010</span><o:p></o:p></span></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""><span style="color: rgb(153, 255, 255);">We wake up late and decide to sunbathe by the pool. I go down and Lee and Krish aren’t with their stuff so I set myself down amongst the West Virginia cheerleading team, who are here with the basketball team, who are at training. They are soulless materialists who spend their time talking about how they hate this or that celebrity for getting fucking fat. Or how this or that celebrity is a saint because he said he wouldn’t abandon his child once some other celebrity gave birth to it and that he wouldn’t even cheat on her. They are shallow to the point of concavity and I choose to listen to Blur’s Stereotypes on my ipod and enjoy the sun.</span><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p style="color: rgb(153, 255, 153);" class="MsoNormal"><b style=""><span style=""><span style="font-size:130%;">Monday 22<sup>nd</sup> March 2010</span><o:p></o:p></span></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""><span style="color: rgb(153, 255, 153);">We go to Denny’s after checking out of the hotel, eat a lot, and head to the airport for the long flight back to our other reality.<br /></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><a href="http://s493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/SXSW%20Blog/?action=view&current=Portrait2.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/SXSW%20Blog/Portrait2.jpg" alt="Photobucket" border="0" /></a><br /><span style=""><o:p></o:p></span></p> <!--EndFragment-->Andyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07107531451398489296noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2441042914972183667.post-35087438561157401302010-02-02T14:11:00.000-08:002010-02-06T04:51:21.430-08:00IT'S NOT OVER YET GUITAR TAB<span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><br /><br />You've seen <span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">the behind the scenes video</span></span> in my last blog, you've bought <span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" >the novelty fondu set</span>, you've reorganised your perceptions of time according to when the chorus and then the first verse and then the middle 8 and then etc etc kick in, and now you can <span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" >play the song</span>, because Me and Krish have tabbed out It's Not Over Yet and it really properly took right well long. Enjoy:</span><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://s493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/INOY%20TAB%20JPGS/?action=view&current=ITSNOTOVERYETTAB_Page_01.jpg" target="_blank"></a><a href="http://s493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/INOY%20TAB%20JPGS/?action=view&current=ITSNOTOVERYETTAB_Page_01.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/INOY%20TAB%20JPGS/ITSNOTOVERYETTAB_Page_01.jpg" alt="INOY1" border="0" /></a><br /><a href="http://s493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/INOY%20TAB%20JPGS/?action=view&current=ITSNOTOVERYETTAB_Page_02.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/INOY%20TAB%20JPGS/ITSNOTOVERYETTAB_Page_02.jpg" alt="INOY2" border="0" /></a><br /><a href="http://s493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/INOY%20TAB%20JPGS/?action=view&current=ITSNOTOVERYETTAB_Page_03.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/INOY%20TAB%20JPGS/ITSNOTOVERYETTAB_Page_03.jpg" alt="INOY3" border="0" /></a><br /><a href="http://s493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/INOY%20TAB%20JPGS/?action=view&current=ITSNOTOVERYETTAB_Page_04.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/INOY%20TAB%20JPGS/ITSNOTOVERYETTAB_Page_04.jpg" alt="INOY4" border="0" /></a><br /><a href="http://s493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/INOY%20TAB%20JPGS/?action=view&current=ITSNOTOVERYETTAB_Page_05.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/INOY%20TAB%20JPGS/ITSNOTOVERYETTAB_Page_05.jpg" alt="INOY5" border="0" /></a><br /><a href="http://s493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/INOY%20TAB%20JPGS/?action=view&current=ITSNOTOVERYETTAB_Page_06.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/INOY%20TAB%20JPGS/ITSNOTOVERYETTAB_Page_06.jpg" alt="IONY6" border="0" /></a><br /><a href="http://s493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/INOY%20TAB%20JPGS/?action=view&current=ITSNOTOVERYETTAB_Page_07.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/INOY%20TAB%20JPGS/ITSNOTOVERYETTAB_Page_07.jpg" alt="INOY7" border="0" /></a><br /><a href="http://s493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/INOY%20TAB%20JPGS/?action=view&current=ITSNOTOVERYETTAB_Page_08.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/INOY%20TAB%20JPGS/ITSNOTOVERYETTAB_Page_08.jpg" alt="INOY8" border="0" /></a><br /><a href="http://s493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/INOY%20TAB%20JPGS/?action=view&current=ITSNOTOVERYETTAB_Page_09.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/INOY%20TAB%20JPGS/ITSNOTOVERYETTAB_Page_09.jpg" alt="INOY9" border="0" /></a><br /><a href="http://s493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/INOY%20TAB%20JPGS/?action=view&current=ITSNOTOVERYETTAB_Page_10.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/INOY%20TAB%20JPGS/ITSNOTOVERYETTAB_Page_10.jpg" alt="INOY10" border="0" /></a><br /><a href="http://s493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/INOY%20TAB%20JPGS/?action=view&current=ITSNOTOVERYETTAB_Page_11.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/INOY%20TAB%20JPGS/ITSNOTOVERYETTAB_Page_11.jpg" alt="INOY11" border="0" /></a>Andyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07107531451398489296noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2441042914972183667.post-83886627948412238932010-01-28T12:34:00.000-08:002010-07-15T19:13:15.902-07:00BEHIND THE SCENES OF MIDDLEMAN'S NEXT VIDEO<span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="color: rgb(204, 51, 204);"><br />Bonjour people, </span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 51, 204);">I've been away in India for 3 weeks dancing on the beach for New Year, swimming in waterfalls and chillin with cows.</span><span style="color: rgb(204, 51, 204);"> </span><span style="color: rgb(204, 51, 204);">But now I'm back and it's gonna be a good year for Middleman. I know cause I heard a rumour that it said it in someone's horoscope once.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(102, 51, 255);">We're playing at South by South West in Texas in March, </span><span style="color: rgb(102, 51, 255);">and our first single from our debut album's going to be out soon after, in late March or early April.</span><span style="color: rgb(102, 51, 255);"> </span><span style="color: rgb(51, 204, 0);"><span style="color: rgb(102, 51, 255);">Here's some behind the scenes stuff from the video shoot:<br /><br /><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/vxms1sFky7w&hl=en_US&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/vxms1sFky7w&hl=en_US&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object><br /></span></span></span>Andyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07107531451398489296noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2441042914972183667.post-13973745318696261372009-12-18T08:54:00.000-08:002009-12-18T11:20:00.451-08:00AMSTERDAMAGE<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:documentproperties> <o:template>Normal.dotm</o:Template> <o:revision>0</o:Revision> <o:totaltime>0</o:TotalTime> <o:pages>1</o:Pages> <o:words>636</o:Words> <o:characters>3627</o:Characters> <o:company>Andy Craven-Griffiths</o:Company> <o:lines>30</o:Lines> <o:paragraphs>7</o:Paragraphs> <o:characterswithspaces>4454</o:CharactersWithSpaces> <o:version>12.0</o:Version> </o:DocumentProperties> <o:officedocumentsettings> <o:allowpng/> </o:OfficeDocumentSettings> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:trackmoves>false</w:TrackMoves> <w:trackformatting/> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:drawinggridhorizontalspacing>18 pt</w:DrawingGridHorizontalSpacing> <w:drawinggridverticalspacing>18 pt</w:DrawingGridVerticalSpacing> <w:displayhorizontaldrawinggridevery>0</w:DisplayHorizontalDrawingGridEvery> <w:displayverticaldrawinggridevery>0</w:DisplayVerticalDrawingGridEvery> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> <w:dontautofitconstrainedtables/> <w:dontvertalignintxbx/> </w:Compatibility> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="276"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--> <style> <!-- /* Font Definitions */ @font-face {font-family:Cambria; panose-1:2 4 5 3 5 4 6 3 2 4; mso-font-charset:0; mso-generic-font-family:auto; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:3 0 0 0 1 0;} /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin-top:0cm; margin-right:0cm; margin-bottom:10.0pt; margin-left:0cm; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi; mso-ansi-language:EN-US;} @page Section1 {size:612.0pt 792.0pt; margin:72.0pt 90.0pt 72.0pt 90.0pt; mso-header-margin:36.0pt; mso-footer-margin:36.0pt; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style> <!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0cm; mso-para-margin-right:0cm; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0cm; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-ansi-language:EN-US;} </style> <![endif]--> <!--StartFragment--> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);"><br /></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">I hadn’t been to </span><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);font-size:130%;" >Amsterdam</span><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);"> for 6 years, which is about how old I was when I used to play on my mum’s BBC computer. Bat and ball was wicked, and so were </span><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);font-size:130%;" >Monsters</span><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);"> and </span><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);font-size:130%;" >Chucky Egg</span><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">, but it’s </span><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);font-size:130%;" >Frogger</span><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);"> I want to give special mention to in this blog. If you’ve never played it, but you’ve been to Amsterdam, just imagine you’re trying to cross the street there and that you’re a frog, and you’ve pretty much got it. The traffic’s nuts: cars, trams, bikes, buses, lorries, </span><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);font-size:130%;" >pedestrians using running as a legitimate form of business-man-transport. Legitimate not cause they’re late, just cause they’re Dutch.</span> <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><a href="http://s493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/?action=view&current=dutchfrogger.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/dutchfrogger.jpg" alt="Photobucket" border="0" /></a></span><br /><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p style="color: rgb(255, 102, 0);" class="MsoNormal"><span style=""><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""><span style="color: rgb(255, 102, 0);font-size:130%;" >My mate Gaz</span><span style="color: rgb(255, 102, 0);"> right, when he gets properly on one, there’s no stopping him. He can get knocked down, and he just gets back up again and takes it on the chin and other clichés. </span><span style="color: rgb(255, 102, 0);font-size:130%;" >He’s like that Chumba Wumba song about Weebles, but less egg-shaped.</span><span style="color: rgb(255, 102, 0);"> He spends a while doing what he said was an </span><span style="color: rgb(255, 102, 0);font-size:130%;" >important</span><span style="color: rgb(255, 102, 0);"> dance, a dance that </span><span style="color: rgb(255, 102, 0);font-size:130%;" >mattered</span><span style="color: rgb(255, 102, 0);">, at strangers in a bar who don’t agree with its </span><span style="color: rgb(255, 102, 0);font-size:130%;" >significance</span><span style="color: rgb(255, 102, 0);">. Then when the bar closes and he’s not got the audience his dance deserves, he starts telling people he’s Rupert Grint off Harry Potter. He had people taking photos with him all night, and got 3 free tickets into a club, and an apology from the guys on the door for not being able to give him more. By the end of the night </span><span style="color: rgb(255, 102, 0);font-size:130%;" >he's pushing 13 pence sterling in my hand and saying, "Get me a meat."</span><span style="color: rgb(255, 102, 0);"> But than doesn't stop him trying to engage Amsterdam residents in a game of burger tennis using their hedge as a net on the walk home.</span><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><a href="http://s493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/?action=view&current=gaz-rupert.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/gaz-rupert.jpg" alt="Photobucket" border="0" /></a></span><br /><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""><span style="color: rgb(255, 204, 102);">During the weekend I wondered something I’ve wondered a few times before. When you’re intoxicated, and things seem amazing or you have a brilliant idea, is it because you’re mind is in a higher, more open state, or is it because your mind is slowed down and so regular things seem incredible. It’s the old, absolute/relative argument. You know the kind of realisation I mean. Like, when music feels 3D with all the layers criss-crossing and you lay back in it like a massive sonic hammock, or when the person on the telly says the same word as you at the same time with the same intonation whilst looking straight at you. Or when you realise for the first time that even though the chicken and the egg are so closely linked, you never eat chicken and egg as a meal. Bacon and Eggs, sausage and eggs, ham and eggs, but never chicken and eggs, or you REALLY appreciate, and are proud of, portmanteau words like Nanslator and Amsterdamage, or your yawns taste like ironic pins and needles, or you decide you’ll make your fortune by selling Disease Monopoly to Hasbro and that the brown ones would be STDS, and the greens and navies would all be terminal illnesses.</span><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="color: rgb(255, 255, 0);" class="MsoNormal"><span style="">Or you hear a song lyric differently to how you’ve heard it before like: <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p style="color: rgb(255, 255, 0);" class="MsoNormal"><span style="">‘The people you’ve been before <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p style="color: rgb(255, 255, 0);" class="MsoNormal"><span style="">that you don’t want around anymore <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p style="color: rgb(255, 255, 0);" class="MsoNormal"><span style="">they push and shove, and won’t bend to you will<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p style="color: rgb(255, 255, 0);" class="MsoNormal"><span style="">I’ll keep them still” (Elliott Smith <i style="">Between The Bars</i>)<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 0);">and you realise that the first bit could mean that you don’t want to be like you used to be, or that you suffered mental illness and want to stay sane, and that the second bit could mean I will prevent these ‘people’ from coming back by keeping them still (inanimate/dormant), or that I will keep them, still. I will still keep them. You realise then that within the 4 different combinations of these various halves there are dozens of different nuances that could apply in each case. Is it, ‘I will still keep them, despite you hating them, because they are part of you, or is it, I will still keep them, so that you don’t have to. I’ll keep them for you, as in the Spanish ‘por’ not ‘para’. I’ll keep them instead of you so that you’re free from the burden. In the first part, if you don’t want to be like before, does that mean you don’t want to act like you used to, or act or think like you used to, or not even have memories of what you were like before?</span><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""><span style="color: rgb(51, 255, 51);">Here’s a government Ven diagram showing the crossover:</span><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><a href="http://s493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/?action=view&current=IntoxicationVenn.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/IntoxicationVenn.jpg" alt="Photobucket" border="0" /></a></span><br /><o:p></o:p></span></p> <!--EndFragment-->Andyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07107531451398489296noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2441042914972183667.post-3878124151744584922009-11-11T17:26:00.000-08:002009-11-11T19:33:40.107-08:00LEICESTER MEN TOP FIT POLL<span style="color: rgb(255, 102, 0);">A friend of mine told me the other day that she read in a magazine that </span><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 0);font-size:180%;" >men from Leicester are the fittest in the UK</span><span style="color: rgb(255, 102, 0);"><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 0);">,</span> but she didn't know in which sense it meant. Well obviously, it's both. </span><span style="color: rgb(255, 102, 0);font-size:130%;" ><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 0);">Leggy men like myself are all capable of being both champion athletes and underwear models.</span> </span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 102, 0);">Take </span><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 0);font-size:130%;" >David Attenborough</span><span style="color: rgb(255, 102, 0);"><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 0);">.</span> People know he </span><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 0);font-size:130%;" >travels all over the world</span><span style="color: rgb(255, 102, 0);"> to look at animals that he could just as easily see on telly without having to wait around for ages. What people don't realise is that he travels </span><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 0);font-size:130%;" >exclusively by sprinting non-stop for weeks and weeks over mountains and through deserts.</span><span style="color: rgb(255, 102, 0);"><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 0);"> </span>Course he walks or stands still when the camera's on him, otherwise he'd just be a blur of muscle. Sometimes he crouches. </span><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 0);font-size:130%;" >Now, gorillas are about 10-15 times stronger than your average man, but just look at this one cower as the man-mountain Attenborough threatens to punch it right in its simian face if it doesn't shut up about his coat looking like a flasher jacket:</span><br /><br /><a href="http://s493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/?action=view&current=attenborough.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/attenborough.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket" /></a><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 102, 0);">Also, I've done a survey and</span><span style="color: rgb(255, 102, 0);font-size:130%;" > <span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 0);">9 out of 10 girls said they'd get theoretically naked for David back in the imaginary day. That's just how it is for Leggy men. In another survey, 9.5 out of 10 girls said they'd get naked if Gok Wan asked them and he don't even like girls.</span></span><span style="color: rgb(255, 102, 0);"> In case you're wondering, the 0.5 isn't cause I've averaged it out, I asked 20 girls and 2 said they'd get half naked. One said left half, the other said back half. </span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 102, 0);">Having said all that, </span><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 0);font-size:130%;" >Daniel Lambert</span><span style="color: rgb(255, 102, 0);">, the fattest man in Britain in the early 1800s (50 stone) was from Leicester, and so was Joseph Carey Merrick, better known as the </span><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 0);font-size:130%;" >Elephant Man</span><span style="color: rgb(255, 102, 0);"><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 0);">.</span> Now </span><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 0);font-size:130%;" >Danny ain't winning no Tour de France, and Joey's not signing no Hugo Boss contract.</span><span style="color: rgb(255, 102, 0);"> And I'm not employing no double negatives.</span>Andyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07107531451398489296noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2441042914972183667.post-36028654953406491552009-10-13T12:08:00.000-07:002009-10-13T17:18:48.905-07:00STICKS AND STONES IS BACKFor those of you who don't know, I do poetry. Me and my mate Adam started a night called <span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-size:130%;" >Sticks and Stones</span> about 4 years ago at Strawberry Fields Bar on Woodhouse Lane, Leeds. We have <span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(51, 102, 255);">one of the UKs top spoken words artists </span><span style="color: rgb(204, 204, 204);">as a guest, and open mic too. Strawbs burnt down early this year so we've been away for 6 months but </span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);"><span style="color: rgb(204, 204, 204);">now we're back! With a Belter! </span><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">Boom!</span> <span style="font-size:130%;">Bang! </span><span style="font-size:180%;"><span style="color: rgb(51, 204, 255);">Whoosh!</span> <span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(102, 255, 255);">Kapowee! </span><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(51, 255, 255);">DUBIOUS ONOMATOPOEIA!<br /></span></span></span><br />Below is the e-flyer for the first one of the season. <span style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0); font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" >John Berkavitch</span> is the guest. He <span style="color: rgb(51, 204, 0);">is <span style="font-weight: bold;">a vision of the near future set in 1989.</span> </span><span style="color: rgb(51, 255, 51);">He was the<span style="font-size:130%;"> 2007 Glastonbury Slam Champion,</span> the 2007 UK Slam Champion</span><span style="font-size:180%;"><span style="color: rgb(102, 255, 153);"></span><span style="color: rgb(102, 255, 153);"></span><span style="color: rgb(102, 255, 153);"></span><span style="color: rgb(102, 255, 153);"></span><span style="color: rgb(102, 255, 153);"></span></span><span style="color: rgb(102, 255, 153); font-weight: bold;">,</span> <span style="color: rgb(102, 255, 153);">has performed on radio 1, radio 4, </span><span style="color: rgb(153, 255, 153);">done two national tours,</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" ><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 204);">can breathe under water,</span></span> <span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 51);"><span style="font-size:130%;">and hold himself out from a lamppost (or similar), parallel to the ground, thanks to his freakishly overdeveloped latissimus dorsi.</span> </span>Check it out:<br /><br /><br /><a href="http://s493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/?action=view&current=SticksandStonesBerko.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/SticksandStonesBerko.jpg" alt="sticks and stones berko" border="0" /></a>Andyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07107531451398489296noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2441042914972183667.post-39555542475908516142009-10-01T07:20:00.000-07:002009-10-01T08:20:47.803-07:00SOLVING MYSTERIES, SETTING TRENDS<span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);font-size:130%;" ><br /><br />The mystery of who's been smashing my car up has been solved</span><span style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);"> <span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">by deduction. Whilst Ewan was in Hong Kong, my rear windscreen wiper got pulled off, so it must have been Slurpy. We only had two votes on the matter, both saying Slurpy did it, so</span><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"> </span></span><span style="color: rgb(255, 153, 0);font-size:130%;" >it's official, you can judge a book by it's vandalizing, sneering, disgusting, bearded cover.</span><span style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);"> <span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">Of course,</span> </span><span style="color: rgb(255, 204, 102);font-size:130%;" >there is the possibility it was someone other than Slurpy or Ewan</span><span style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);"><span style="color: rgb(255, 204, 102);">,</span> <span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">somebody else with a massive vendetta against me,</span><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"> </span></span><span style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);font-size:130%;" ><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 0);">like the feminist I held the door open for at the co-op,</span><span style="color: rgb(255, 153, 102);"> or that vegetarian guy I offered a block of horse liver to before I knew he was vegetarian,</span> <span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 0);">or that racist guy who I was telling that race was not a biological reality, only a social construct, </span></span><span style="color: rgb(102, 0, 0);"><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">but I'm reaping my revenge on Slurpy regardless. I made him a cup of tea with no sugar in, as I promised two blogs ago, and</span> </span><span style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);font-size:130%;" ><span style="color: rgb(255, 204, 102);">I've also realised he probably won't look at his passport again until he next travels, so I've done this</span> </span><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">(I had to photoshop his details out for security reasons, obviously):</span><br /><br /><a href="http://s493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/?action=view&current=bomb.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/bomb.jpg" alt="bomb" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">Me, Slurps, Ewan and Gaz are going Amsterdam next month but I reckon after Slurps flashes his passport it might just be me, Ewan and Gaz. </span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 204, 102);font-size:180%;" >We've finished shooting the video for our next single now. Here's a couple of pictures from while we were shooting:</span><br /><br /><a href="http://s493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/?action=view&current=cellarchairfromside.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/cellarchairfromside.jpg" alt="Photobucket" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);font-size:180%;" >Now I'm not normally a trendsetter but I reckon face scars are gonna be big this season. It's a strong look:</span><br /><br /><a href="http://s493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/?action=view&current=Scar3_4orangewall.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/Scar3_4orangewall.jpg" alt="Orange wall 3/4" border="0" /></a>Andyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07107531451398489296noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2441042914972183667.post-71849556654779279852009-09-28T06:33:00.000-07:002009-09-28T07:13:29.064-07:00SPINNING PLATES TAB<span style="color: rgb(255, 153, 0);">Me and Krish have been busy this weekend sorting out this</span> <span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 51);font-size:180%;" >guitar tab for Spinning Plates</span><span style="color: rgb(255, 153, 0);"><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 51);">.</span> We're gonna tab out other Middleman songs over the coming months and I'll make them</span> <span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 51);font-size:130%;" >available on here</span><span style="color: rgb(255, 153, 0);"><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 51);">.</span> If you like, you can</span> <span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 51);font-size:130%;" >request a Middleman song and we'll tab it out <span style="color: rgb(255, 153, 0);">so you can play it. Enjoy:</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><br /><a href="http://s493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/?action=view&current=SPINNINGPLATESTAB_Page_01.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/SPINNINGPLATESTAB_Page_01.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket" /></a><br /><a href="http://s493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/?action=view&current=SPINNINGPLATESTAB_Page_02.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/SPINNINGPLATESTAB_Page_02.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket" /></a><br /><a href="http://s493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/?action=view&current=SPINNINGPLATESTAB_Page_03.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/SPINNINGPLATESTAB_Page_03.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket" /></a><br /><a href="http://s493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/?action=view&current=SPINNINGPLATESTAB_Page_04.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/SPINNINGPLATESTAB_Page_04.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket" /></a><br /><a href="http://s493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/?action=view&current=SPINNINGPLATESTAB_Page_05.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/SPINNINGPLATESTAB_Page_05.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket" /></a><br /><a href="http://s493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/?action=view&current=SPINNINGPLATESTAB_Page_06.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/SPINNINGPLATESTAB_Page_06.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket" /></a><br /><a href="http://s493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/?action=view&current=SPINNINGPLATESTAB_Page_07.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/SPINNINGPLATESTAB_Page_07.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket" /></a><br /><a href="http://s493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/?action=view&current=SPINNINGPLATESTAB_Page_08.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/SPINNINGPLATESTAB_Page_08.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket" /></a><br /><a href="http://s493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/?action=view&current=SPINNINGPLATESTAB_Page_09.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/SPINNINGPLATESTAB_Page_09.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket" /></a><br /><a href="http://s493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/?action=view&current=SPINNINGPLATESTAB_Page_10.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/SPINNINGPLATESTAB_Page_10.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket" /></a><br /><a href="http://s493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/?action=view&current=SPINNINGPLATESTAB_Page_11.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/SPINNINGPLATESTAB_Page_11.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket" /></a><br /><a href="http://s493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/?action=view&current=SPINNINGPLATESTAB_Page_12.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/SPINNINGPLATESTAB_Page_12.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket" /></a><br /></span></span>Andyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07107531451398489296noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2441042914972183667.post-9806740330167825262009-09-20T15:35:00.000-07:002009-09-20T15:56:49.059-07:00INNOCENT UNTIL VOTED GUILTY<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:documentproperties> <o:template>Normal.dotm</o:Template> <o:revision>0</o:Revision> <o:totaltime>0</o:TotalTime> <o:pages>1</o:Pages> <o:words>185</o:Words> <o:characters>1058</o:Characters> <o:company>Andy Craven-Griffiths</o:Company> <o:lines>8</o:Lines> <o:paragraphs>2</o:Paragraphs> <o:characterswithspaces>1299</o:CharactersWithSpaces> <o:version>12.0</o:Version> </o:DocumentProperties> <o:officedocumentsettings> <o:allowpng/> </o:OfficeDocumentSettings> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:trackmoves>false</w:TrackMoves> <w:trackformatting/> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:drawinggridhorizontalspacing>18 pt</w:DrawingGridHorizontalSpacing> <w:drawinggridverticalspacing>18 pt</w:DrawingGridVerticalSpacing> <w:displayhorizontaldrawinggridevery>0</w:DisplayHorizontalDrawingGridEvery> <w:displayverticaldrawinggridevery>0</w:DisplayVerticalDrawingGridEvery> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> <w:dontautofitconstrainedtables/> <w:dontvertalignintxbx/> </w:Compatibility> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="276"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--> <style> <!-- /* Font Definitions */ @font-face {font-family:Cambria; panose-1:2 4 5 3 5 4 6 3 2 4; mso-font-charset:0; mso-generic-font-family:auto; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:3 0 0 0 1 0;} /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin-top:0cm; margin-right:0cm; margin-bottom:10.0pt; margin-left:0cm; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi; mso-ansi-language:EN-US;} @page Section1 {size:612.0pt 792.0pt; margin:72.0pt 90.0pt 72.0pt 90.0pt; mso-header-margin:36.0pt; mso-footer-margin:36.0pt; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style> <!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0cm; mso-para-margin-right:0cm; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0cm; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-ansi-language:EN-US;} </style> <![endif]--> <!--StartFragment--> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="">Alright, this is getting ridiculous, enough’s enough, it’s time to get to the bottom of this thing. <span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);font-size:130%;" >At Kendal Calling, my windscreen got smashed,</span> and the guy who came and fixed it said it was definitely from close contact, a blunt object, that is, deliberate. Then, <span style="color: rgb(255, 153, 0);font-size:130%;" >two weeks later, parked on my street, my tyres got slashed, proper slashed.</span> Now,<span style="color: rgb(255, 204, 102);"> </span><span style="color: rgb(255, 204, 102);font-size:130%;" >this weekend, my wing mirror has been smashed off my car, on the pavement side, </span>so it can’t have just been a car driving past. Now the only people who were at all crime scenes were my two housemates, Slurpy, and Ewan. Ewan was on his way to Hong Kong by the time I discovered the wing mirror but I hadn’t driven since he’d left so it could be a cleverly timed attack designed to give him an alibi. But I’m not fooled by such deviousness.<span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 0);"> </span><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 0);font-size:180%;" >Because I’m a fan of democratic justice, I’ve decided to settle who did it by public vote.</span> So, have a look at this wanted picture of the two suspects, and <span style="color: rgb(51, 255, 51);font-size:180%;" >leave a comment as to who you reckon did it:</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""><span style="font-size:180%;"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><a href="http://s493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/?action=view&current=Wanted.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/Wanted.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket" /></a></span><br /></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""><o:p></o:p></span></p> <!--EndFragment--> <p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="">If I get no comments, I’m gonna toss a coin, heads means Slurps did it, tails means Ewan’s guilty.<span style="font-size:130%;"> <span style="color: rgb(102, 204, 204);">Then, I’m gonna punish the culprit. If it’s Slurps I’ll make his tea with no sugar even though I know he wants sugar. If it’s Ewan I’ll take match of the day off the sky planner. That’ll learn ‘em!</span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal">Oh, and there isn't really an award for their capture as the poster suggests, but if you see either of them, give them a menacing fist shake. I'd appreciate it.<br /><span style=""><o:p></o:p></span></p> <!--EndFragment-->Andyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07107531451398489296noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2441042914972183667.post-41266229210307332102009-09-03T12:45:00.000-07:002010-07-15T19:10:11.239-07:00SMASHING LEEDS AND READING<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:documentproperties> <o:template>Normal.dotm</o:Template> <o:revision>0</o:Revision> <o:totaltime>0</o:TotalTime> <o:pages>1</o:Pages> <o:words>422</o:Words> <o:characters>2410</o:Characters> <o:company>Andy Craven-Griffiths</o:Company> <o:lines>20</o:Lines> <o:paragraphs>4</o:Paragraphs> <o:characterswithspaces>2959</o:CharactersWithSpaces> <o:version>12.0</o:Version> </o:DocumentProperties> <o:officedocumentsettings> <o:allowpng/> </o:OfficeDocumentSettings> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:trackmoves>false</w:TrackMoves> <w:trackformatting/> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:drawinggridhorizontalspacing>18 pt</w:DrawingGridHorizontalSpacing> <w:drawinggridverticalspacing>18 pt</w:DrawingGridVerticalSpacing> <w:displayhorizontaldrawinggridevery>0</w:DisplayHorizontalDrawingGridEvery> <w:displayverticaldrawinggridevery>0</w:DisplayVerticalDrawingGridEvery> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> <w:dontautofitconstrainedtables/> <w:dontvertalignintxbx/> </w:Compatibility> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="276"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--> <style> <!-- /* Font Definitions */ @font-face {font-family:Cambria; panose-1:2 4 5 3 5 4 6 3 2 4; mso-font-charset:0; mso-generic-font-family:auto; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:3 0 0 0 1 0;} /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin-top:0cm; margin-right:0cm; margin-bottom:10.0pt; margin-left:0cm; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi; mso-ansi-language:EN-US;} @page Section1 {size:612.0pt 792.0pt; margin:72.0pt 90.0pt 72.0pt 90.0pt; mso-header-margin:36.0pt; mso-footer-margin:36.0pt; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style> <!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0cm; mso-para-margin-right:0cm; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0cm; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-ansi-language:EN-US;} </style> <![endif]--> <!--StartFragment--> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""><br /><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="">We drove down after writing a new song and got to Reading at 4:30am, camped just behind our stage. Next day <span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="color: rgb(204, 102, 204);">Ewan goes out flyering before our gig, puts the flyers in a bin and just makes it rain instead.</span> <span style="color: rgb(102, 102, 204);font-size:180%;" >We smashed the packed tent</span><span style="color: rgb(102, 102, 204);">:</span></span><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""><o:p><a href="http://s493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/?action=view&current=Readingcrowd.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/Readingcrowd.jpg" alt="Photobucket" border="0" /></a><br /></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="">An all nighter of debauchery later and even <span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="color: rgb(51, 204, 255);">the flocks of geese overhead start sounding like a clan of asthmatic joggers</span></span>. I’ve got a gig poetrying at midday and Slurpy’s passed out in the middle of the path in guest camping. I try to move him and cover him up so he won’t get too sunburnt but the t-shirt over his face just makes him look dead. I nearly throw up with the effort of the gig, get back to Slurps and find out <span style="color: rgb(102, 204, 204);font-size:130%;" >a fire engine came along, was stopped in its tracks by slumbering Slurps, couldn’t wake him up and the firemen had to get out and move him.</span> We might change our name to Woken Up By Firemen. <o:p><br /></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="">We hallucinate our way up to Leeds and stand in front of Radiohead. <span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="color: rgb(51, 255, 51);">Some girl from Middlesborough tells me Princess Beatrice just touched her gash (her words)</span> <span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 0);font-size:180%;" >then hitches her skirt up, squats in front of me and pisses.</span></span> The gig the next day is wicked and the crowd are well up for it:<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""><o:p><a href="http://s493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/?action=view&current=Leedscrowdfestivalrepublic.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/Leedscrowdfestivalrepublic.jpg" alt="Photobucket" border="0" /></a><br /></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="">We get interrupted mid-interview by somebody asking if we can play the BBC Introducing stage for Alan Raw in 15 minutes as somebody’s dropped out. We do it, even more fun-ly than the first gig and the crowd are wicked:<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""><o:p><a href="http://s493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/?action=view&current=LeedsBBCintroducingcrowd.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/LeedsBBCintroducingcrowd.jpg" alt="Photobucket" border="0" /></a><br /></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="">Then back on the debauchery. Lee takes his trousers down in an interview and falls asleep and Slurpy makes some ironic comment about Krish being the token. <span style="color: rgb(255, 204, 102);font-size:130%;" >Basically we’re on a charm offensive, or an offensive, anyway.</span><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="">Later on <span style="color: rgb(255, 153, 0);"><span style="font-size:130%;">I’m stood next to the Jamaican Bob Sleigh team and there’s a helicopter going over Jamie T’s shoulder.</span> </span>Now <span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">whatever you say about Mr T. (that’s the musician not the guy who works for Snickers) he does a cracking job of looking like 1995. </span></span>The snickers guy’s more of an ‘80s man. <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""><o:p><a href="http://s493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/?action=view&current=JamieT1995.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/JamieT1995.jpg" alt="Photobucket" border="0" /></a><br /></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="">After Faith No More <span style="color: rgb(204, 102, 204);"><span style="font-size:130%;">Jess Hatches a plan to kneel down behind Gaz while I push him over.</span> </span>I refuse. <span style="font-weight: bold;">She insists.</span> I refuse again. <span style="font-weight: bold;">She insists harder and given she’s Gaz’s girlfriend I decide it’s ok</span>, but I don’t want to do the pushing cause I still feel bad, so <span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="color: rgb(102, 102, 204);">I say I’ll be the inanimate object he’s pushed over, and she can push, thus alleviating my guilt.</span></span> I go and kneel down behind Gaz and Jess does nothing. <span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="color: rgb(51, 204, 255);">Gaz stumbles over me backwards, falls really heavily and can’t get up, saying he heard a crack or something. </span></span>I feel terrible. Jess asks what I was doing. I ask why she wasn’t pushing. She says I got the wrong man, she was saying Slurpy all along as it was his birthday, not Gaz, and Slurpy’s still oblivious to the whole thing. I feel bad but later on, <span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="color: rgb(102, 204, 204);">when Gaz gets stranded in the mud on one welly, it doesn’t stop me laughing long and hard enough to warm my belly with lactic acid.</span></span><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: rgb(51, 255, 51);font-size:130%;" >Some geezer stops me to ask if I can feel his toes. It’s not a request, just an enquiry as to whether I’m also aware of the sensation in his lower </span><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="color: rgb(51, 255, 51);">phalanges.</span></span> <span style=""> </span>Then we’re sledging down a mud-hill after dancing to a tree-house DJ whose main aim seemed to be to make us really aware that he was DJing by letting one track completely finish and allowing a couple of seconds of silence before playing the next one. Here's some video footage from before we started forgetting to film:</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/bvZP5Szqb9Y&hl=en_US&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/bvZP5Szqb9Y&hl=en_US&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object><!--EndFragment-->Andyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07107531451398489296noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2441042914972183667.post-16603438446529672862009-09-02T09:15:00.000-07:002009-09-02T14:09:29.307-07:00KRISH WARHOL IN IRELAND<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:documentproperties> <o:template>Normal.dotm</o:Template> <o:revision>0</o:Revision> <o:totaltime>0</o:TotalTime> <o:pages>1</o:Pages> <o:words>334</o:Words> <o:characters>1904</o:Characters> <o:company>Andy Craven-Griffiths</o:Company> <o:lines>15</o:Lines> <o:paragraphs>3</o:Paragraphs> <o:characterswithspaces>2338</o:CharactersWithSpaces> <o:version>12.0</o:Version> </o:DocumentProperties> <o:officedocumentsettings> <o:allowpng/> </o:OfficeDocumentSettings> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:trackmoves>false</w:TrackMoves> <w:trackformatting/> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:drawinggridhorizontalspacing>18 pt</w:DrawingGridHorizontalSpacing> <w:drawinggridverticalspacing>18 pt</w:DrawingGridVerticalSpacing> <w:displayhorizontaldrawinggridevery>0</w:DisplayHorizontalDrawingGridEvery> <w:displayverticaldrawinggridevery>0</w:DisplayVerticalDrawingGridEvery> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> <w:dontautofitconstrainedtables/> <w:dontvertalignintxbx/> </w:Compatibility> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="276"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--> <style> <!-- /* Font Definitions */ @font-face {font-family:Cambria; panose-1:2 4 5 3 5 4 6 3 2 4; mso-font-charset:0; mso-generic-font-family:auto; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:3 0 0 0 1 0;} /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin-top:0cm; margin-right:0cm; margin-bottom:10.0pt; margin-left:0cm; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi; mso-ansi-language:EN-US;} @page Section1 {size:612.0pt 792.0pt; margin:72.0pt 90.0pt 72.0pt 90.0pt; mso-header-margin:36.0pt; mso-footer-margin:36.0pt; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style> <!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0cm; mso-para-margin-right:0cm; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0cm; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-ansi-language:EN-US;} </style> <![endif]--> <!--StartFragment--> <p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US">We had <span style="color: rgb(204, 51, 204);font-size:180%;" ><span style="color: rgb(0, 204, 204);">our first international tour</span> </span>in May; a one day <span style="color: rgb(51, 204, 0);">tour of Ireland</span>. I meant to record it all but got sidetracked by laughter and alcohol. I did manage to get a bit of us judging<span style="color: rgb(255, 204, 0);font-size:130%;" > <span style="font-size:180%;">Ireland's Got Talent</span></span> on film though, in the centre of Dublin. <span style="color: rgb(255, 204, 51);font-size:130%;" >Check out the jealousy in our faces</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US"><object height="344" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/LReuiU0hReM&hl=en&fs=1&"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/LReuiU0hReM&hl=en&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" height="344" width="425"></embed></object><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US">The flight went pretty smoothly apart from when <span style="color: rgb(255, 102, 0);font-size:180%;" >Krish cried his eyes out the entire flight</span><span style="color: rgb(255, 102, 0);">.</span> Nobody even got fondled too badly by the security guys. </span>Doesn't always go so uneventfully though; <span style="">here’s <span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" ><span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">my top 5 airport moments: </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p><span style=""></span><p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""><span style="color: rgb(204, 51, 204);font-size:180%;" ><span style="font-weight: bold;">5</span></span><span style="color: rgb(204, 51, 204);">:</span> Arriving for a flight in Nice 4 hours early and not being able to find my flight on the departures board, only to discover <span style="color: rgb(102, 51, 255);font-size:180%;" >I’d missed it by a day.</span><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-size:180%;" ><span style="font-weight: bold;">4</span></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);">:</span> <span style="color: rgb(0, 204, 204);font-size:130%;" >Being </span></span><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 204, 204);">an Eastern immigrant and finding myself stranded in JFK airport</span> </span>and having to take up temporary residence there. No wait, that was Tom Hanks and it was rubbish. I did once save a bunch of Americans from deadly snakes by <span style="color: rgb(51, 255, 51);">shooting a hole in the side of the plane and letting the </span><span style="color: rgb(51, 255, 51);font-size:180%;" >pervy-tongued slithery death-ropes be sucked out</span><span style="color: rgb(51, 255, 51);">.</span></span><span style=""><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(255, 255, 0);font-size:180%;" >3</span><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 0);">:</span> New Year’s Day (my birthday) 2008. Having <span style="color: rgb(255, 204, 102);font-size:180%;" >passed out in the airport toilet</span><span style="color: rgb(255, 204, 102);">, </span><span style="font-size:130%;">I was woken up by Ewan ringing me to make sure I hadn’t fallen asleep and missed my flight. <span style="color: rgb(255, 153, 0);">I had to sprint to the plane and then filled a sick bag before getting to my seat.</span></span><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);font-size:180%;" ><span style="font-weight: bold;">2</span></span><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">: </span>1998ish, flying back from a family holiday in Spain the <span style="color: rgb(255, 153, 255);font-size:180%;" >plane was delayed 12 hours.</span> <span style="font-size:130%;">After about 10 and a half I woke up from a 20 minute snooze</span> to see <span style="color: rgb(153, 153, 255);font-size:130%;" >my dad, stood on a table with a big mob around him, saying they should start killing members of staff every 20 minutes until they made a plane appear for us</span><span style="color: rgb(153, 153, 255);font-size:130%;" >,</span><span style="font-size:130%;"> </span>and that way there’d be one ready in 40 minutes.<span style="font-size:130%;"> <span style="color: rgb(102, 255, 255);">The plane came about an hour later and we got free tea and coffee in the mean time</span></span><span style="color: rgb(102, 255, 255);">. </span>Incidentally, he recommended a similar technique; shooting whoever was in last place every 5 minutes, to liven up the marathon.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""><span style="color: rgb(51, 255, 255);font-size:180%;" ><span style="font-weight: bold;">1</span></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 255, 255);">:</span> Falling asleep in an emptyish food hall in Dublin airport and <span style="color: rgb(102, 255, 153);font-size:130%;" >waking up in a jam-packed food hall, laying flat on my back,</span><span style="color: rgb(102, 255, 153);"> </span><span style="font-size:180%;"><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 51);">in lightweight tracky b’s, fully tumescent.</span> </span><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 102);">This young couple next to me were hypnotised. </span>Well funny.</span><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""><o:p><br /></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="">Now, we all know <span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 102);font-size:180%;" >Krish was a big deal in modelling</span><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 102);"> </span>until he was dropped for his lack of versatility (<span style="color: rgb(255, 153, 102);font-size:180%;" >we all know his ‘grinzilla’ look</span>), <span style="font-size:130%;">but I never realized how many other bands he’d been in</span> <span style="font-size:130%;">until I uncovered this </span><span style="color: rgb(255, 102, 102);font-size:180%;" >Andy Warholesque artwork comprised of photos of his old bands.</span> It’s like finding out your girlfriend’s ex-boyfriend was Hollywood. Check it out:</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""><a href="http://s493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/?action=view&current=KrishWarhol.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/KrishWarhol.jpg" alt="Krish Warhol" border="0" /></a><br /></span></p>Andyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07107531451398489296noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2441042914972183667.post-82285458260190594162009-08-10T11:17:00.001-07:002009-08-10T15:06:42.587-07:00FESTIVAL HAZE<span style="font-size:180%;"><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(51, 255, 51);"><br />Style theft and sexual conduits.</span><br /><br /></span>Listen right, Mike Skinner stole my style, last weekend, at <span style="color: rgb(255, 153, 0);font-size:130%;" ><span style="font-weight: bold;">Kendal Calling Festival.</span></span> We were on just before Goldie Looking Chain and then The Streets, the sound was amazing and <span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);font-size:180%;" >we proper smashed it</span>, about 1,000 people all going nuts. Anyway, after the first song <span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="color: rgb(204, 102, 204);">a couple of girls at the front requested some nudity</span></span>, telling me <span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="color: rgb(102, 51, 255);">to show them some ankle and that</span></span>. <span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(153, 153, 0);">I told them why didn’t they? And if 10 girls did, I would too.</span> <span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);">One girl promptly quit her vestments and hurled her bra on stage.</span><span style="color: rgb(51, 204, 0);"> She balanced her ample bozom on the security barriers</span></span> <span style="font-size:180%;"><span style="color: rgb(255, 204, 0); font-weight: bold;">like a pair of angry, googly, staring eyes.</span><span style="font-weight: bold;"> </span></span><span style="color: rgb(255, 204, 51);font-size:130%;" >Two hours later, same day, same stage</span>, a few songs into his set, <span style="color: rgb(255, 102, 0);font-size:130%;" >Skinner goes ‘let’s see if we can get 10 girls to take their clothes off.</span><span style="font-size:130%;"> </span><span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);font-size:130%;" >One did. He goes ‘right, 9 more and my keys player’ll strip too.’</span> <span style="color: rgb(255, 102, 0);font-size:180%;" ><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="color: rgb(204, 102, 204);">Chicken!</span><span style="font-size:130%;"> </span></span></span><span style="color: rgb(102, 102, 204);font-size:130%;" >Didn’t even offer to sacrifice himself as bait.</span> He got 5 or 6 pairs of eyes, Beat me! That’s not the point though, point is, this style theft is a scandle on a par with Tom from Kasabian copying Berko’s red leather stage jacket. Yeah, that. <span style="color: rgb(51, 204, 255);font-size:130%;" >Here’s a picture of the girl:</span><br /><br /><a href="http://s493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/?action=view&current=Breastgirleyes.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/Breastgirleyes.jpg" alt="breast eyes" border="0" /></a><br /><br />And here's one of <span style="font-size:180%;"><span style="color: rgb(102, 204, 204);">Slurpy signing some girl</span></span>. Told you he was a rock star, forget about Cliff Richard,<span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 51);"> </span><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 51);font-size:180%;" >he's like flippin Engelbert Humpedink</span><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 51);">:</span><br /><br /><a href="http://s493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/?action=view&current=breastsigning.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/breastsigning.jpg" alt="Photobucket" border="0" /></a><br /><br />So this weekend we played at <span style="color: rgb(102, 255, 153);font-size:180%;" ><span style="font-weight: bold;">Moor Festival.</span></span> The Saturday night, <span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 0);">this girl starts chatting to me, asks if we’re gonna party </span></span>after Wild Beasts finish. <span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="color: rgb(255, 204, 102);">I’m like, ‘Yeah we’re all going Silent Disco.’</span></span> <span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0); font-weight: bold;">She goes, ‘So we’re gonna party then.’ </span><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="color: rgb(255, 204, 102);">I say ‘Yeah, we’re all going Silent Disco in a minute, you coming?’</span></span> After the fifth time she asks whether we’re gonna party I’m thinking she’s a bit slow, but then <span style="color: rgb(255, 153, 0); font-weight: bold;">I realise I’m the idiot when she asks if I’m coming to party,</span> <span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0); font-weight: bold;">just me, her and her mate, and she points to some geezer behind her eyeing me up.</span> Turned out <span style="color: rgb(204, 102, 204); font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" >they wanted me as a sexual sluice</span> and I didn’t really fancy it. <span style="color: rgb(102, 102, 204);font-size:130%;" >Not my bag being a <span style="font-size:180%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">carnal conduit,</span></span></span> <span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="color: rgb(51, 204, 255);">I’m no <span style="font-size:180%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">erotic aqueduct,</span></span></span> <span style="color: rgb(51, 255, 51);">no <span style="font-size:180%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">genital siphon!</span></span></span> </span>For the visual learners who still aren’t getting what they were angling for, here’s a diagram I just did on my laptop:<br /><br /><a href="http://s493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/?action=view&current=conduitsquares.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/conduitsquares.jpg" alt="conduit" border="0" /></a><br /><br />For those of you who are <span style="color: rgb(255, 204, 204);font-size:180%;" >kinaesthetic learners, I’m working on a danceplanatory version</span> but unless you meet me in person it’ll be of no benefit to you.<br /><a href="http://s493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/?action=view&current=Breastgirleyes.jpg" target="_blank"><br /></a>Andyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07107531451398489296noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2441042914972183667.post-4764613812573568032009-05-17T09:21:00.000-07:002009-05-17T09:45:32.183-07:00<span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 0); font-weight: bold;font-size:180%;" >EUROPHILIA</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 255, 51);font-size:180%;" >Eurovision Joy Contest</span><br /><br />It’s been a month and a half since my last blog, and there’s a very good reason: I’ve <span style="color: rgb(51, 204, 0);font-size:130%;" ><span style="color: rgb(51, 204, 0);">been way too busy </span>wetting myself in anticipation of the Eurovision song contest</span> to do anything else. Let’s face it, it’s the pinnacle of musical achievement and <span style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);font-size:130%;" >we all secretly wished we were Norway’s version of Enrique Iglesias</span>, Alexander Rybak, when he smashed the points record and was told by about a dozen recent Miss World contestants, as they revealed their country had awarded him douze points, that he was really cute. Now I’m sure he doesn’t want to be a puppy but I bet <span style="color: rgb(153, 153, 0);font-size:130%;" >his tail was wagging as he was mentally planning his European tour of Miss World Contestants</span><span style="color: rgb(153, 153, 0);">,</span> <span style="color: rgb(255, 204, 0);font-size:180%;" >mapping out his journey over their hills and valleys.</span> But then a scarier woman flirted with him. <span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="color: rgb(255, 204, 51);">She looked like she'd been a Miss World contestant in 1970</span> and <span style="color: rgb(255, 204, 102);">she’d done nothing since then apart from eat fish</span><span style="color: rgb(255, 102, 0);">, bench-press railway sleepers and sunbathe as though old Sol might run out of hydrogen any second and ruin her chances in a competition to grow her own </span><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 102, 0);font-size:180%;" >stab-proof leathery skin</span><span style="color: rgb(204, 102, 0);">.</span></span> <span style="font-size:130%;">I swear if she’d wanted a little piece of Nordic boy, if she’d decided to take him off to a secluded fjord and have her ogreish way with him,</span> <span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);font-size:130%;" >he could have tried to fend her off with a combat knife and he’d have broken the blade on her tawny hide.</span> <span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);font-size:180%;" >Honestly, pure bark.</span><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);"> </span><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 51, 204);font-size:180%;" >Like Iggy Pop crossed with a walnut</span><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 51, 204);">. </span><br /><br /><a href="http://s493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/?action=view&current=LeatherskinEurowoman.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/LeatherskinEurowoman.jpg" alt="bark skin" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 51, 204); font-weight: bold;font-size:180%;" ><span style="color: rgb(102, 51, 255);">Rock and Roll Slurpy</span></span><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 51, 204);font-size:180%;" ><br /></span><br />Other than that, this month we’ve been writing new stuff and playing a few gigs supporting people more famous than us but not nearly as good looking, like Tommy Sparks and the King Blues. <span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="color: rgb(153, 153, 255);">Next month we’re supporting </span></span><span style="font-size:180%;"><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">The Streets</span></span><span style="font-weight: bold;"> and I reckon <span style="color: rgb(51, 204, 255);">we’re gonna have a straight walk off.</span> <span style="color: rgb(102, 255, 255);">Beauty is in the eyes of the beholded and Slurp’s has got some right sparklers.</span></span></span> And he’s talented, just check out this video of his unconscious circus act, at Latitude festival,<span style="font-size:180%;"> <span style="color: rgb(102, 255, 153);">balancing hoola hoops on his conk while he snores as though he’s reinventing wind instruments</span></span><span style="color: rgb(102, 255, 153);">.</span> He turned up to stage half hour before we were due on that day, <span style="color: rgb(51, 255, 51);font-size:130%;" >after falling asleep stood up in a urinal and then waking up tied to a chair with a dress on and makeup.</span><span style="font-size:180%;"><span style="color: rgb(51, 255, 51);"> </span><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 0);">He’s well rock and roll, thinks he’s <span style="font-weight: bold;">Cliff Richard</span> or something:</span></span><br /><br /><br /><object height="344" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/Mfc19D2igrM&hl=en&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/Mfc19D2igrM&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" height="344" width="425"></embed></object>Andyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07107531451398489296noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2441042914972183667.post-23455077410041372602009-04-05T07:23:00.000-07:002009-04-05T07:44:02.834-07:00Middlemanimation for Behind the scenes groaningIt’s been a busy month. It was Krish’s birthday, my latest nephew was born, I spent hours laughing at Alan Partridge, I wrote a commission poem for Rethink charity (I'll post the video in the coming months) and <span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 0); font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" >I had to forge my own signature to get a driving license!</span> Seriously, the guy at the test centre asked me to sign to say I was insured on the instructor’s car, so I did, and he said it was wrong. I said <span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);font-size:180%;" >how could my signature be wrong when it was <span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">me</span> writing <span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">my own name</span>?</span> He said it was a signature recognition test and it didn’t match the one on my provisional license, but I signed that when I was 17 and didn’t have a proper signature yet. So I told him to show me it and I’ll forge it but he wouldn’t show me, <span style="color: rgb(255, 153, 0);font-size:180%;" >so I did a ridiculous one that looked even less like my 17 year old not-yet-a-signature and more like Mr Tickle signing a stamp with a whip</span> from another room where he can't even see it, and told him that’s all he was getting. So then, I’ve been all aggressive and <span style="color: rgb(51, 255, 51);">he’s badly wanting to fail me, but I smashed it anyway</span>, carefully, at 30mph mainly, staying closing to the curb while reversing round a corner, and passed.<br />Also, Vibrations came out with our interview in:<br /><a href="http://s493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/?action=view&current=Vibrationsarticle.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/Vibrationsarticle.jpg" border="0" alt="Vibrations article" /></a><br /><br />We’ve been writing <span style="color: rgb(51, 204, 255);font-size:180%;" >new songs</span> this month, to be debuted at the Fav in Leeds on Thursday 23rd April, and also recording some older stuff. When listening back to vocal takes from No Sleep Tonight <span style="color: rgb(204, 51, 204);font-size:180%;" >you could hear me making weird groaning sounds that I didn't even know I was doing</span>, so I've taken them, along with other sounds captured around takes, and made them into something bedautiful. I’ve even added some <span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(51, 255, 255);font-size:180%;" >Middlemanimation</span> towards the end. Check it out:<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/PAmfXk0YgGY&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/PAmfXk0YgGY&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>Andyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07107531451398489296noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2441042914972183667.post-67504805397575388262009-03-01T10:38:00.001-08:002010-08-24T20:15:25.777-07:00<span style="color: rgb(51, 255, 255);">Dance Masterclass!</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(192, 192, 192);">Since my last blog we did a photoshoot</span> <span style="color: rgb(51, 255, 255);font-size:130%;" >in the <span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">snow</span>, without many clothes on</span><span style="color: rgb(192, 192, 192);">, for Vibrations Magazine. It was a couple of days before</span> <span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">valentine’s day</span></span> <span style="color: rgb(192, 192, 192);">and</span> <span style="color: rgb(255, 153, 0);font-size:130%;" >it was proper sexy and massively painful:</span><br /><br /><a href="http://s493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/?action=view&current=snow1copy.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/snow1copy.jpg" alt="Snow 1" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 255, 51);">Here’s a poem</span> <span style="color: rgb(192, 192, 192);">that’s also sexy and painful, called </span><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">S and M Valentine</span>:<br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0); font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" >Violence</span> <span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">is</span> <span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">red</span></span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-size:130%;" ><span style="font-weight: bold;">Pornography’s</span> blue</span>.<br /><span style="color: rgb(192, 192, 192);">I hit</span> <span style="color: rgb(102, 0, 204);">purple patches</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">C</span><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">o</span><span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">m</span><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">b</span><span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">i</span><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">n</span><span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">i</span><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">n</span><span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">g</span> <span style="color: rgb(192, 192, 192);">the</span> <span style="color: rgb(192, 192, 192);">two.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);">Pornography’s blue</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(192, 192, 192);">And <span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">violence is red.</span></span><br /><span style="color: rgb(192, 192, 192);">I <span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(51, 102, 255);">master</span> them both</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(192, 192, 192);"><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">Nailing</span> <span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">you</span> to the bed.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(192, 192, 192);">Anyone whose been to <span style="color: rgb(153, 51, 153);font-size:130%;" >our gigs</span> will’ve been caught up in the <span style="color: rgb(153, 51, 153);"><span style="font-size:130%;">maniacal frenzy of true dance</span>.</span> But a little while back we played a gig for the <span style="color: rgb(102, 0, 204);font-size:130%;" >Northern School of Dance</span> and although they <span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);font-size:130%;" >were technically alright</span> but there were <span style="color: rgb(51, 153, 153);">a couple of things they didn’t understand too well. </span>For instance,<span style="color: rgb(153, 153, 0);font-size:130%;" > <span style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);">one girl was wearing a leopard print skirt,</span> <span style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);">except instead of spots it had leopard’s paw prints,</span> as though leopards are actually born spotless and hand paint each other</span>. <span style="color: rgb(255, 153, 0);">But they don’t have paint so what are they using?</span> Yeah, that’s what I thought. <span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(204, 102, 0); font-weight: bold;">Dirty</span></span>. Anyway, these so called dancers never let themselves be <span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">possessed by the espiritu di dance</span></span>, so I’ve made a little video of <span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);font-size:130%;" >us lot <span style="font-weight: bold;">dancing</span></span> to help them out. <span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="color: rgb(51, 255, 51);">It’s pretty emotional</span></span>, you might cry. Shhh, shhh, it’s ok. It’s ok.<br /><br /><object height="385" width="480"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/mGX460-GOjo?fs=1&hl=en_US"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/mGX460-GOjo?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" height="385" width="480"></embed></object></span>Andyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07107531451398489296noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2441042914972183667.post-7416773958161451232009-01-21T16:36:00.000-08:002009-01-23T11:26:21.827-08:00<span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(102, 255, 255);font-size:180%;" >PARTY 2009!</span><br /><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="color: rgb(204, 102, 204);">Happy new year everyone!</span> </span><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">This year's gonna be wicked!</span> <span style="color: rgb(153, 153, 255);font-size:130%;" >2009 is paved with Fruit Pastels</span>, <span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">but only the red and black ones, unless you’re one of those weirdos whose favourite is yellow, you can have the ones I don’t need. To start you off,</span> <span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="color: rgb(102, 255, 153);">here’s a pic of me in my work clothes</span></span><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">, as promised last blog.</span><br /><br /><a href="http://s493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/?action=view&current=santaman.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i493.photobucket.com/albums/rr291/hectacious/santaman.jpg" alt="Santaman" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">We played our first ever </span><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 51);font-size:180%;" >private party</span> <span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">last week, our mate</span> <span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 102);font-size:130%;" >Ewan’s 30th birthday</span><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">. It was wicked; check out the video below. There’s a bit during Friends that’s</span> <span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="color: rgb(255, 153, 102);">nearly as smooth as when they replaced the old Pippa on Home and Away</span></span><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">. One day the</span> <span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 102);">blond Pippa disappears</span> <span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">and a </span><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="color: rgb(102, 102, 204);">skinnier, brunette woman just walks into the house, probably having offed the old Pippa</span></span><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">, and everyone just calls her Pip cause she’s so confident with it like nothing’s happened and Sally’s all like, “Hey Pip, what are you making for dinner?” </span><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">and I’m like “Sally don’t be a fucking idiot you can’t trust her, she’s not even Pippa and she’ll put poison in your food you div.”</span></span> <span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">And Sally’s not even suspicious even though she’s lived with Pippa for years and years and should really be expected to spot an imposter. Anyway, here’s the video, </span><span style="font-size:180%;"><span style="color: rgb(51, 255, 51);">keep an eye out for Ewan breaking Krish’s maracas</span></span><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">, it looks deliberate doesn’t it?</span><br /><br /><object height="344" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/zfEC9XH6zm8&hl=en&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/zfEC9XH6zm8&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" height="344" width="425"></embed></object>Andyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07107531451398489296noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2441042914972183667.post-9242844795121678562008-12-26T13:25:00.000-08:002009-01-06T15:25:33.927-08:00<span style="color: rgb(204, 204, 204);font-family:verdana;" >Now then. This blog's gonna be all about what's going on with <span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 0);font-size:180%;" ><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 0);">M</span><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 51);">I</span><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 0);">D</span><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 51);">D</span><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 0);">L</span><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 51);">E</span><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 0);">M</span><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 51);">A</span><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 0);">N</span></span> and some other stuff too, including tips on <span style="color: rgb(51, 255, 255);font-size:130%;" >making life more exciting</span>. That's the good stuff. </span><span style="color: rgb(204, 204, 204);">Check us out </span><a style="color: rgb(204, 204, 204);" href="http://www.myspace.com/middlemanpop">http://www.myspace.com/middlemanpop</a><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 204, 204);">December was cool, <span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-size:130%;" >Huw Stephens has been playing us on Radio 1 again.</span> The man's a legend. So <span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-size:130%;" >text in to Radio 1 to request us and get us on again. </span><span style="font-size:200;"><span style="color: rgb(51, 255, 51);"><br /><span style="font-size:180%;">This is our year!</span></span></span> I've got into the Christmas spirit (<span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">brandy)</span> by wearing an </span><span style="color: rgb(204, 204, 204);font-size:130%;" ><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);font-family:verdana;" >inflatable santa suit</span> </span><span style="color: rgb(204, 204, 204);">on stage for a couple a gigs. Pics and video will follow soon. </span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 204, 204);">At the end I told the crowd </span><span style="color: rgb(204, 204, 204);font-size:130%;" >we’d sold out of cds but had vinyl.</span><span style="color: rgb(204, 204, 204);"> </span><span style="color: rgb(204, 204, 204);font-size:130%;" >I said if anyone wanted </span><span style="color: rgb(204, 204, 204);">they could come and see me after the show and</span><span style="color: rgb(204, 204, 204);font-size:180%;" > <span style="color: rgb(204, 102, 204);">I’d give them 7 inches for £3.</span></span> <span style="color: rgb(204, 204, 204);">That's an offer most people couldn't refuse.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 204, 204);">Here's this blog's tip: <span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">Don't pour wine too violently or you'll bruise it</span>. <span style="font-size:130%;">That's what some pretentious bastard told me at a mate's party the other day.</span> He was drinking some fancy red, I was <span style="color: rgb(255, 204, 204);font-size:100%;" >knocking back pink ribena wine.</span> They say you can tell how good a wine is by how deep the indent is in the bottom cause waiters put their thumb in it to pour one handed in fancy restaurants. Well, <span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="color: rgb(51, 255, 255);">my bottle had a screw cap and a slightly convex base</span></span>, <span style="color: rgb(255, 153, 102);font-size:180%;" >like a sugary glass weeble.</span> As well as being cheaper, I got the extra mouthful of wine contained by the convex bulge. <span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">Bruise that you winey snob.</span></span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 204, 204);">Finally, here's my tip for the 2009 Christmas number one spot, Pall Makartneh by <span style="color: rgb(51, 255, 51);font-size:180%;" >Pillers of the Community</span>: <a href="http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=8jdGFjkArT8"><object height="344" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/8jdGFjkArT8&hl=en&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/8jdGFjkArT8&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" height="344" width="425"></embed></object></a></span>Andyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07107531451398489296noreply@blogger.com0